Loss of libido (sex drive) is a common problem that can affect men and women of any age.

It's normal for many people, especially women, to lose a bit of interest in sex as they get older, mainly because of diminishing levels of sex hormones or age-related health problems.

But an unexpected loss of libido can indicate an underlying personal, medical or lifestyle problem, and can be upsetting to both partners in a relationship.

If you're concerned about your libido, make an appointment to see your GP or a doctor at your nearest family planning clinic, so any underlying problem can be discussed.

In the meantime, you may find the below information useful, which explains the most common reasons for loss of libido:

• relationship problems 
• stress or exhaustion 
• depression 
• drinking too much 
• approaching the menopause (known as the 'perimenopause')
• an underactive thyroid 
• certain medications 

Please don't use this guide to diagnose yourself with a medical condition. Always leave that to your GP.

Relationship problems 

The first thing you should consider is whether you are happy in your relationship. Do you have any doubts or worries that may be the real reason for your loss of sexual desire? Relationship problems are among the most common causes of loss of libido. For help with these problems, you can contact Relate.

Another thing to consider is whether the problem is a performance issue that makes sex difficult or unfulfilling. For example, many men experience premature ejaculation or impotence, and women can experience painful sex or vaginismus (when the muscles around the vagina tighten involuntarily before penetration). You can rest assured that these problems are all treatable by your GP.

Your GP may feel you will benefit from psychosexual counselling. This is a form of relationship therapy where you and your partner can discuss any sexual or emotional issues that may be contributing to your loss of libido. 

Stress or exhaustion

Stress and exhaustion can be all-consuming and have a major impact on your happiness. If you feel you’re constantly tired or stressed, you may need to make some lifestyle changes or speak to your GP for advice.

You can start by reading the NHS Choices pages on tiredness and fatigue and, if relevant, our pages on beating stress at work and taking the stress test. There is also patient information on stress and insomnia (difficulty sleeping).

Depression

Depression is very different from the common experience of feeling unhappy, miserable or fed up for a short period of time. It's a serious illness where you may have feelings of extreme sadness that can last for a long time. These feelings are severe enough to interfere with your daily life, including your sex life.

You're probably depressed if you are feeling low or hopeless, or you have little interest or pleasure in doing things you used to enjoy. In this case it's really important that you see your GP. They may feel you will benefit from antidepressants.

Low sex drive can also be a side effect of a type of antidepressant called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Speak to your GP if you are already taking SSRIs and think they may be causing your problems, as you may be able to switch to a different type of antidepressant.

Drinking too much alcohol

Drinking excess amounts of alcohol can reduce your sex drive, so it's a good idea to moderate your intake to no more than three to four units a day if you're a man and no more than two to three units if you're a woman.

To find useful organisations, see the Health, Wellbeing & Support search.

Approaching the menopause

As women start to approach the menopause, levels of the female hormone oestrogen begin to fall in their blood, which can affect libido.

The only way to establish whether this is causing low libido is with a trial of hormone replacement therapy. However, HRT should be considered carefully, as it can have unpleasant side effects such as fluid retention, headaches and nausea. Talk to your GP about this.

Underactive thyroid

Less commonly, low libido may be caused by an underactive thyroid. This is where your thyroid gland (located in the neck) does not produce enough hormones. Common signs of an underactive thyroid are tiredness, weight gain and feeling depressed.

An underactive thyroid is easily treated by taking hormone tablets to replace the hormones that your thyroid isn't making. Learn more about treating underactive thyroid.

Medication

Certain medications can sometimes reduce libido in men:

• medication for high blood pressure 
• medication for hyperprolactinaemia, a rare disorder in which the gland at the base of the brain is producing too many hormones (an example of such medication is haloperidol)
• anti-androgenic drugs such as cimetidine, finasteride and cyproterone, which block the effects or reduce the production of testosterone

As discussed above, low sex drive is also a common side effect of the SSRI type of antidepressants. This can occur in both men and women.

Your GP will review your medication and, if necessary, switch your prescription to something else that won't affect your libido.